Who the hell writes men as hopeless romantics?!?! I mean really guys-does this happen? Because in all My experience, granted it ain't much, I have yet to see one. I have seen guys who care about their significant other. I have seen men that put on a damn good display to get into a relationship. I have also seen husbands that go out of their way to do nice things for their wife. But a hopeless romantic is still some breed of lost man.
Hopeless romantic is the guy we all walk on. The one who has ideas of grandeur and of making someone else happy above himself always. This isn't some guy who does it to get the vagina points-nay-he does it because it truly is his calling. If you listed five qualities about the kid-romantic would be top 5. He mentions the girl he is is love with all the time. He makes sure he never lays a stray hand on her belly, because one day that will be the sanctum in which his child resides. He waits on her hand and foot even if ti is completely unnecessary and he ditches friends who talk about getting pussy and how they hate their girlfriends. "Those type of people don't have respect for anyone, including themselves,is the mantra." He does these things not just for 2 week relationships, but for 10 year ones that rip him apart. He still kindly answers the phone call of all the women who slummed it with him, and aren't afraid to say it. He answers if for nothing else that to say "I am sorry you are hurting, but I can't love you as I did." All the gentle kindness he had before he was torn to shreds. The hopeless romantic is the man who puts his family first and makes a point to think of obscene ways to chow he cares to everyone around him. Who goes against any cultural norm and will question them in public. I think this is probably one of the most courageous figures to depict in our society. Someone who gives a shit and is not only about number one-like our individualistic culture so preaches to BOTH sexes-is a gem indeed. I guess I have seen some women who feel this way.Many who do not know how to show it, but hold it deep inside, buried within the walls of a society that has walled her off from wanting a partner, accepting interdepence and seeking to show love above all else. I know these secrets because I am a woman-and every once in a while one of us becomes weakened and lets a very close friend know that all they want is a partner to care for and who cares for them. They want a team-not two I's. Two I people make a great team except to work together one has to sometimes think better of the we than the I and put ego aside.
Anyways-I think the movies portray a man that is like this. I do not know of any who seek what women have expressed they seek-because I am not a man and they don't tell me their secrets as they would a man. I find this courageous and beautific creature a thing of myth at this time.
And, for the record, fuck everyone. Fairy tales do exist if you're willing to be someone else's prince charming while still desiring to be swept off your feet.
I think the kind of male hopeless romantic you're looking for is an undeveloped person in many regards. I think it really describes me circa 2002 with a girl I was head-over-heels for. I don't want to say that I became jaded after that so much as I stopped living in a fantasy world. And, reality > fantasy, always; it's a mathematical property.
ReplyDeleteI don't think this is an underdeveloped person at all. Maybe when you had these characteristics you were underdeveloped-but it doesn't mean every man like this is. Fantasy worlds exist when you have the perseverance to make them your own. I am living proof of that. I believe if I can work hard enough and find a partner who is willing to do the same-that the kind of relationship I picture is wholly possible. Now above I didn't mention that theguy doens't have to only care about his partner-he can be an individual-but his partnership is his priority. I know it exists. I know it exists because I feel that way-so someone else out there must as well. I am not that unique. And reality, let's be honest, is one big fantasy world. Just think about who has been rolling the dice all these years to create "reality" first it was priests talking from the Bible-now scientists. It's all in perspective and it's all subjective so...I either live in world someone else told me existed and put all my stock in values and things I could care less for-or I hope and build the world I want to see around me. Nobody creates my reality for me, but me :).( And mathematical properties and I don't jive well either).
ReplyDeleteI'm just saying that the first thing I think of when I see this is, "why?" Why is it so essential to be in a relationship with this kind of person? Is it for all the benefits of the relationship or, in some ways, is it partly in reaction to something else?
ReplyDeleteYou're right, though. I was underdeveloped at that time - doesn't mean everyone is. But, I remember when I was, that I put this girl and this relationship on an unrealistic pedestal and was unwilling to see "reality" that contrasted with the "fantasy." Reality and fantasy are on some kind of sliding scale, but I think somewhere in between and in balance is OK.
I very, very much want to feel that way again. And I very, very much want to end up with someone who feels the same as me - a soul mate of kind. But, what I don't like about me, is that I have this desire, want, need, and I'm looking for someone to fit that as a square peg in a square hole. I'd rather meet someone and find myself struck by some kind of love-lightning and then feel compelled to have those romantic feelings as opposed to, as I feel I am, projecting "love feelings" on some young attractive female who jives with me.
More!
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