I'm a failure

I wanted to say that I tried
I didn't try
I really wanted to create a list of all
my overachieving achievements
But I didn't really achive
and I'm too lazy to make lists.

Success stories are boring anyway
Specially in the good ol USA.
I think I should be a failure story instead

I failed at being a poor
stupid girl.
I also failed at getting pregnant
I failed at getting abortions and bitching
about how The Man
Don't pay my birth control pills.

I failed at being submissive and soft spoken
I really failed at finding a man
who wants a woman who is his
equal
or his greater
.... whichever.

I failed at subdoing my ego, my intellect,
my intuitions, my ideas, my love

Eventually I failed at living in reality.
I failed at being a normal girl and instead
opted to be an open book.
Or series rather.

A couple chapters of a thousand page
fantasy novel
and you may get the idea.

In some ways people think these
equate to
success.

"They are stories of a woman who conquers adversity. "

I would challenge you to see
that these are still losses
of an identity
Of a lifetime
Of a search
I really wanted to succeed at, in some parcel of myself.