Do you ever feel like you're just going to lose it? By it, I mean that something that makes you human. The voice in your head giving you the information to limit break and make it through whatever you have going on. You ever just think someone hit the wrong switch and turned it off. I think it is off tonight. I am one step away from crying my eyes out over suffering the loss of my mother. The woman who would stand up to these insane obstacles with no hair moved. She could do this.  I do not think I can do this. What is this? The boss fight of my life. What does this boss mean-again?

I lost my mom when I was 21. I said I was fine. I wasn't. I was on my way down when she died and when it finally happened she stepped on my head in the shallow pool I had left. Grinding my face against the shards of battles fought and buried below. I couldn't swim. I couldn't see. Eventually I floated back up, as bodies are wont to do, but the marring remained. By all this I mean that my mother left a hole in my logic that I have not filled. I found a place to move to in rampant need to find a nest. A place I could hide in and from, until I was well again. It turns out nests go sour and jumping into the first one I found was not the best idea.